Day 29 of 30: On wanting more.

She had always wanted more. More than she had. More than she thought possible. More than she thought she deserved. More than others said feasible. She wanted more. She spent each minute planning, analyzing, digging, and hoping to find what she was looking for. She was deeply dedicated and hardworking. She assumed this made her […]

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Day 28 of 30: Clarity comes when I stop trying to do its job.

I am learning that Clarity comes without trying. When not forced. It’s a lot like bubbles. If I chase the bubbles and grasp at them, they’ll pop and float away. This knowledge doesn’t stop the old pattern of me trying to figure everything out, to force Clarity. When I get foggy about something or there’s […]

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Day 27 of 30: My happy looks different than your happy.

I am so freaking excited that I only have two days left of this month, and that the May, Myself, and I Self-Love Experiment will come to a close. I mean, I’m still gonna’ love myself and dig deep and do healing work because that’s who I am. But setting something as charged as “self-love” […]

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Day 26 of 30: Remember that time you melted down in the Kroger self checkout lane and screamed profanity while punching the machine…?

…And your then-boyfriend had to tackle you to the ground and quietly convince you to leave? And you pushed the automatic doors off their hinges because they just weren’t opening fast enough JUST LIKE NOTHING EVER WORKED OUT FOR YOU ANYWAY? No? Oh. That’s right. That was me. See… After my spontaneous spiritual awakening… PAUSE BUTTON. […]

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Day 25 of 30: on celebrating [even tiny] victories

Humans are adaptable creatures. We see our individual selves every day. We are constantly experiencing our inner world, witnessing our lives through our subjective viewpoint. Oftentimes, we are unable to recognize improvements or change. If we do something drastic – like chopping off hair or getting a new tattoo – we see it. And we […]

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Day 24 of 30: strength through tenderness

I’ve always been drawn to the studded belt, all-black wardrobe, motorcycle-riding, bad-ass boss bitch character. The one who isn’t afraid to put people in their place, who speaks her mind, and who grabs life by the balls. When she wants something, she gets it. When she sets her mind to something, she attains it. She […]

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Day 23 of 30: on being human

Step 8 of the 12-step program I’m in is to make a list of all people I’ve harmed and become willing to make amends to them all. My list was 200 items long, and I felt deeply ashamed to share it with another person. Alas, I did. One by one, I went through and explained […]

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