DAY SEVEN: on doing the scary thing

May, Myself, & I: A Self-Love Experiment

DAY SEVEN: On doing the scary thing…

5/8/2019

I’ve been hiding from sharing this journey. I’ve shared it to Facebook, but stopped posting it to my blog and stopped posting it to Instagram… Or my business FB page. I’ve been waiting until the very last minute to post to Facebook, or even doing it the following morning due to near-debilitating fear the night prior.

It’s been admittedly disheartening to lose followers the more I post. I logically recognize that the ones who aren’t in alignment are falling off, which is making more room for the ones who ARE in alignment with me. And that’s great. In theory.

In practice, it sucks. I try to pretend it doesn’t bother me, but sometimes it really does.

I know sharing the way I share (vulnerable honest real-talk) may not have any big payoff. It’s just a thing I’ve been put here to do. When I neglect to write or make videos, my soul gets weary and bored. I begin to feel distant and detached from myself.

This pisses me off because I’d much rather live away from any form of social media. But my gift of writing and speaking is here to be shared. And so… I’m doing the uncomfortable thing and sharing. Maybe one day I’ll employ folks (who enjoy social media) to do the social media thing for me. Until then… I’m challenging myself to share.

I had a panicky 30 minutes earlier this afternoon where I posted 5 blog entries back-to-back in order to make up for the last five days of hiding. I did the same thing on Instagram, except I spaced it out a bit. As if my posts are SO MUCH WORK for people that they’ll be overwhelmed, and their days will be ruined.

Applying too much importance to myself and what I share, I know. And some people will “follow” another’s account just to get a follow back. Then they’ll go and un-follow. Because rude.

Either way, I did the scary thing. I shared. And that’s what I’m doing with this. I’m keeping it short and sweet so I can get some good sleep. Because that’s another loving thing to do.

Loving things I did for myself today:

  1. On time to 8AM AA meeting. (Did not share, but that’s okay.)
  2. SHARED MY FIRST WEEK of this journey on social media even though I mostly want to delete all social media and instead hide out.
  3. Took time to read Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.

What is something you’re afraid to do? What can you do to set yourself free? What if you did the scary thing?

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

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Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

One thought on “DAY SEVEN: on doing the scary thing

  1. It takes guts, strength, grit and perseverance to do what you are doing, say what you are saying and living the way you are living. Keep up the greatness. I love reading your stories and having a chance to be a part of your life.

    Like

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