the infamous jen novel text message and why having a blog helps me keep friends

This just in: NOT EVERYONE EXPERIENCES LIFE THE WAY I DO.

confused face

Here’s what’s even crazier…

Most people have NO INTEREST in experiencing life the way I do.

You mean… You don’t want to learn life lessons like you’re on a constant MarioKart speed boost?

jen on kart 2

You don’t want to exchange long rambles about all aspects of our emotional health and spiritual experiences? And bowel movements? And the different numerical combinations seen throughout the day and what that could possibly mean about life? Or about the general meaning of life and individual purposes and past lives?

OR GENERAL SPIRITUAL WARFARE?

A-and food? And all the things ALL THE TIME?!@$@#@~!

…no?

And, when you ask me how I’m doing, you don’t necessarily want 5 novel-length text messages in response?

THAT CAN BE OVERWHELMING?

WHAT.

IS.

THIS.

WORLD.

world

I process through talking and sharing. I have known roughly 2.5 people ever in my life who are able to listen to ALL the things I have to share without this experiencing to their brain:

3DS_blackscreenofdeath-625x352

And one of those people is my dog.

He has no choice. I am the holder of the crunchy and mushy food.

its a floyd

You see… For most of my life, I’d hold stuff in and worry myself with other people’s issues, drowning my own in alcohol and pills and listening to depressing music in the dark wondering why I was so sad.

And then I’d do the thing in relationships where I’d pretend everything was fine, meanwhile sobbing dramatically in the shower or in the closet or in random parking lots so as to hide the innards from the SigO.

And so… Since my awakening, I vowed to stop hiding.

So I did that pendulum swing thing…

pendulum

Here’s the thing. I’ve known since I was a kid that I’m here to speak and write and teach. And the further along I get on this journey of self-actualization (or whatever other buzz word tickles you), the more expansive my energy gets.

The more I have to share.

The stronger I become in my convictions.

And… I’ve been utilizing friendships and relationships (and $100/hour therapy) for that outlet.

And it’s time to expand my audience.*

*otherwise I’ll have no friends

Writing through a blog lets me share in an open-ended way… Trusting that the people/dogs who DO want to read it will come along it, and enjoy.

For a couple months, I barely wrote here. I cancelled social media, too. I focused all my energy on interpersonal relationships. And I’m glad I did. I’ve built some amazing connections and grown into a much better person as a result.

And so now… It’s time to focus more on sharing outward with others.

I feel like my energy is meant to be shared with lots of people. And if I don’t express the stuff coming through me, I may explode*.

*sob while watching baking shows

So. Here’s to the internet and the never-ending dialogue of a blog.

And to you, the person who made it all the way through.

jen

 

Posted by

Some days, I paint. Other days, I write. And rap. And tell stories. And do comedy. And doodle. And [attempt to] bake. And, one week out of every month, I merge with my sofa and sob about mortality and things like the existence of air and how we can't live without it and how utterly claustrophobic that is to consider. I'm relatively particular. And this is a place for me to share ALL the quirks.

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