I’ve mentioned The Desire Map in a couple other posts. It’s a rad book by Danielle LaPorte. She also teaches a facilitator training program, and there are people around the world who are leading badass Desire Map workshops, helping connect folks with how they truly want to feel.
The gist behind the program is that, although we frequently seek out things and experiences, what we’re really craving is to feel a certain way.
So we approach it like this:
For example, if you’re looking forward to* that work promotion, stop to ask yourself why? How do you imagine you’ll feel upon getting it? Accomplished? Recognized? Respected? Successful? Wealthy?
The thing is… When we put our focus on external stuff like promotions or new shoes or even certain experiences, the yummy feeling we feel upon attaining those is short-lived. Why? Because we’re relying on an outside thing or situation or person to light us up.
It’s as though we feel a dark void, and we want to fill it with light. Each little thing or experience is a match. It illuminates the darkness, but its results are temporary. It quickly becomes dark again… Which is when we tend to set new and bigger goals.
But it’s an endless game. And not a fun one. Like solo monopoly.
Nothing outside of us can light us up. Nothing outside of us can fill that void. At least not sustainably.
I’m not saying not to have goals. Goals are good. Dreams are good. Aspirations… and other synonyms. All good stuff.
The primary goal is to FEEL THE YUMMY FEELINGS FIRST, AND CONTINUE CHECKING IN WITH THEM THE WHOLE FLIPPIN’ TIME. By continually re-orienting ourselves with what helps us feel the way we want to feel, it’s like we’re shoved through worm holes that arrive us at our goals faster, and/or bring the stuff to us rather than us having to go out and seek, and/or bring forth amazing shit that we never would have fathomed.
All because we are vibrating at a delicious high frequency. Which is very attractive to the Universe, and to people, and to synchronicity, and to ourselves.
It’s like those secret pipes in Mario that take you to lots of coins and a feather or fireball and then drop you at the end of the level.
Feelings are our cheat codes.
So, yea. That’s where I’m at. I’m opening to the importance of discovering how I most want to feel (fulfilled, surrendered, inspired, in-alignment, joy)… And then taking little steps each day to feel that way.
Yes, a lifetime of getting paid to write what I want, when I want to write it, while traveling the world and breathing in all kinds of different air and experiencing different cultures is certainly a life where I believe I’ll feel fulfilled, surrendered, inspired, in-alignment, and joy. But do I have to wait until then to feel that way? No. That shit sucks. So, what happens if I anchor into those feelings now? What can I do to feel the way I want to feel?
Here, I’ll play the game right now.
post a blog entry
do work on my doodle greeting cards (complete 2 more)
go on a walk/run
begin one commissioned painting
do a silly dance to a song
go on a walk without a phone or a plan
listen to opera music while burning incense and cleaning out old clothes
watch or listen to a motivational speaker/podcast
meditate on the word/feeling “inspiration”
do more work in The Desire Map workbook
connect with like-minded people to set up a camping trip
challenge self to write spoken word poetry (AND SHARE IT)
watch a cute rom-com
do a silly dance to a song
So there. Because I’m efficient, I will likely choose to go on a walk and do a silly dance, as those will set me up with joy and surrender and feeling fulfilled. It’s that simple.
By doing this internal inquiry and continually building a relationship with these desired feelings, they resonate even more. Rather than feeling like I’m pushing to make shit happen, I now feel pulled.
Life is endlessly more magical than I ever could have imagined.