Originally, I wanted to start this blog as a way to answer the burning question:
(Thanks, Microsoft Paint, for displaying my art skills.)
“HERE” consisted of:
-Living in my parents’ basement
-Unsure about my career path (SO MANY PASSIONS. SO MANY IDEAS.)
“THERE” consisted of:
-NY Times best-selling author + inspirational speaker
-Owning my own house (that’s feng shui-ed + sexified)
I realize that I said “unsure about career path” in the here section and then said “author and speaker” in the there section. Those kind of contradict each other, since in the second I’m kind of saying that I AM sure about the career path. It’s the details I get all hung up on.
I have SO MANY passions. Multi-passionate.
I’ve lately felt as though all of my passions and talents and interests are coming together, like a big, loud, Italian family reuniting after a hiatus. I don’t know how else to describe it aside from saying I can feel it.
Like when you’re trying to think of an actor’s name… You can feel the difference between a BLANK mind with the name in a land far far away versus when the name is about to cha-cha into your brain thoughts.
I think of these sort of things like bubbles. If you try to grasp the bubbles, they quickly float away or pop. If you instead chill out, the bubbles will calmly settle into your palm.
So. I have bubbles. Lots of bubbles around my head.
And in the past, I’d be like:
It was all from a good place, to be fair. I wanted to hurry up and get on with my life, as if I wasn’t already living.
Part of my journey to learn about CHANCE is to slow down and trust what comes to me rather than try to force everything.
Thus far, 8 days in, some amazing stuff is happening.
FIRST, I’m learning/integrating some HUGE EPIPHANIES about true desire. I’m shifting away from “WHAT ITEMS DO I WANT?” and embracing the “WHY DO I WANT THESE ITEMS?”
I imagine I’ll touch on this more in another post, so I’ll be quick for now.
Why do I want to be a NY Times best-selling author? To feel successful, accomplished, and respected. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THEN TO FEEL THOSE THINGS, Y’ALL.
That already exists here. And now.
MMMMM that feels yummy in my bones!
SECOND BIG HUGE AMAZING THING RECENTLY:
I’ve wanted to make doodle books for a while now. Books about serious topics, doodled and explained via easily-digestible analogies. All with a special Jen flair. (flare?) … (Damn, my spelling is slipping. Might be time to rack up more student loan debt.)
I didn’t move forward with the project [or any other project, really] past the first few beginning steps (which have always been the easiest for me) for lots of reasons/excuses.
Most often, I’d come to an obstacle. Something I had no idea how to handle.
Granted, most of these “I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE”s have a simple response somewhere on the interwebz. YouTube videos, How-to sites, etc. The answers are all there.
But… I didn’t want to look for them.
I guess it was easier to stay in this mindset of “RIGHT NOW SUCKS AND I CAN’T GET TO OVER THERE WHERE IT’S AWESOME UNTIL I LEARN HOW TO ADJUST THIS THING IN PHOTOSHOP AND SINCE I CAN’T I GUESS I’M STUCK HERE FOREVER WOE IS ME WHERE IS THE REMOTE HELLO NETFLIX.”
And that’s fine. It was part of my process to get to my current mindset, and I’m not beating up on myself.
So now… I’m learning to anchor into the HERE and NOW… and to do the things that give me the feelings I desire to feel… and to relax and enjoy and trust.
AND GUESS WHAT–IT’S WORKING.
And by “working,” I mean… so many bubbles are being absorbed by my brain and heart and body. Ideas, knowledge, humility, love, random bouts of laughter. I’m staying open and allowing these bubbles to come to and through me… And it feels so freaking easy and enjoyable.
And? I opened up to a friend today, sharing about the doodle book situation. And magically, as if her bubbly energy permeated my brain, I quickly hopped online and researched the few things holding me back.
Within an hour, all of my questions had been answered, and I felt FLOWY and in the moment.
I’ve worked/played on the first doodle book for a handful of hours now, and I’m TIRED. (Good kind of tired, where I feel FULFILLED and ACCOMPLISHED, even without a NY Times best-sellers status.)
So… Here’s the black/white cover concept for the first doodle book. I’m excited to share the finished book with you soon. 🙂